Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
How's work?
Spinning.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
