Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
