There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
