Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
