Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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