i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Randomize
