I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
