I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
lets start a swedish sibling band together
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
