Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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