HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
