let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Randomize
