After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
