do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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