i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
