he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
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