when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
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