Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
