I want to make a zoo with you.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
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