i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
