I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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