"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
