Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
im six kinds of drunk right now
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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