There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
