so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
