Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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