Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Randomize
