Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
