I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
