WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
