We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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