Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
