grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
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