I'm jealous of your bromance
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
