Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
