i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
