Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Randomize
