let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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