just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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