Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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