Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
