saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
