What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
