My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
