i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
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