Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
