Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
