It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
