Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
