This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize
