we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
