Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
