You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
zippers are such a cool invention
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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