k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
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