I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
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