I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Randomize
