A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
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