I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
