If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
