Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Randomize
